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Blame Society Productions Transcript Chad Vader Episode 04 CHAD VADER: Whoah! HAL: Excuse me, where are your live chickens? CHAD VADER: We do not carry that item. HAL: I found some frozen ones but they won't work for my Voodoo ritual. CHAD VADER: We do not carry that item! HAL: But where are they? CHAD VADER: I told you already we do not have live chickens! Does this look like a chicken coop? Do not ask me where they are because THEY ARE NOT HERE! HAL: You're a bad and mean man and I didn't like where you were angry and I didn't care for how your words assaulted me. JEREMY: Lord Vader, come quick! There's a dog loose in the store! CHAD VADER: A dog?! [ music ] CHAD VADER: I want this canine captured immediately, alive if possible. Commander Wickstrom, take your squadron and find that dog. Do not return without it. LIONEL: Um, I'm not supposed to leave the cash register. Randy's orders. He says I wander. WEIRD JIMMY: I gotta go clean the septic tank. JEREMY: Right... I'm gonna take my squadron and go find that dog. Here doggie, doggie.... [ music ] CHAD VADER: I can't believe you're going out with Clint. Why him, why would you... WEIRD JIMMY: Hey, ah, could you...? WEIRD JIMMY: She dumped you, didn't she? CHAD VADER: How did you... WEIRD JIMMY: You and I have a lot in common, Chad. I used to be the day shift manager here at Empire Market. Then they made me the night shift manager, just like you. Soon after I developed some... minor problems. [ snorting laughter ] Now my life is over... CHAD VADER: Well... I must go back inside now. WEIRD JIMMY: Chad, it doesn't have to be like this. You always have a choice. Unless you're me... [ crazy laughter ] LIONEL: You're savin' a lot! CUSTOMER: Yeah, you always say that. LIONEL: And you always save a lot! LIONEL: Lord Vader can anything travel faster than the speed of light? CHAD VADER: No, I've told you already! Nothing's faster than the speed of light! LIONEL: Then the speed of light wins. CHAD VADER: Yes, fine-- have you seen Commander Wickstrom? JEREMY: I can't catch him, Lord Vader! LIONEL: The dog! CHAD VADER: I want that dog, not excuses. JEREMY: He's too fast! CHAD VADER: Grrrr! Apparently I'm the only one who can do anything around here! [ banjo chase music ] CHAD VADER: You did not pay for that! Get back here! [ banjo chase music ] CHAD VADER: I have you now! Whuh! [ heavy breathing ] CHAD VADER: I caught you. LIONEL: Hey Chad, you caught the dog! CHAD VADER: How did this creature get into this facility in the first place? LIONEL: Well... it's my dog. CHAD VADER: [ groans ] [ rooster crows ] [ crowd talking ] WOMAN: Good morning, Chad. CLINT: Look at my neck, |
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