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Blame Society Productions
Transcript Chad Vader Episode 03
[ whirring machine noise ]

CHAD VADER: Now the waxing
on the floor is complete.

Wha, oh...

[ grunts ]

Can someone have
this droid repaired?

[ music ]

CHAD VADER: Hello Lionel,
I am Lord Vader the new night shift manag--

LIONEL: Twenty-five cents!

A can!

CHAD VADER: What?

LIONEL: Tomato sauce!

It's on sale.

That lady bought, like,
10 cans.

She saved a lot!

CHAD VADER: Uh, what lady?

LIONEL: She was here
about an hour ago.

She saved a lot!

CHAD VADER: Yes, well,
I must return to my...

LIONEL: Muffins...
swiss cheese... roast beef...

CHAD VADER: Okay...

LIONEL: Hey, do you like light bulbs?

JEREMY: Commander Wickstrom
reporting for duty, Sir!

I have grave news--

LIONEL: Where'd you get that hat?

CHAD VADER: Thank you for
transferring to the night shift, Jeremy.

JEREMY: There's a--

CHAD VADER: Your assistance
will be instrumental in my plan

to regain the day manager position
from Clint.

This will be a night
long remembered!

JEREMY: There's a guy
sleeping on the meat!

CHAD VADER: Let's hit it!

DRUNK: You guys?
Who took my meat pillow?

CHAD VADER: You cannot sleep
in this establishment!

DRUNK: Clint used to let me.

CHAD VADER: Clint is no longer
the night manager, I am.

DRUNK: You're a bad night manager!

CHAD VADER: He's right.

JEREMY: Lord Vader!

CHAD VADER: Now, Jeremy,
remember the plan I was...

JEREMY: There's somebody shoplifting
in aisle seven!

CHAD VADER: No!

Kill!

JEREMY: I'm sorry, Lord Vader!

SHOPLIFTER: Ahhh!

CHAD VADER: All too easy.

CHAD VADER: Oh, come on!

Just because it is
the middle of the night

does not make this store
your personal trash heap.

Ugh, I hate the night shift.

WEIRD JIMMY: You're doomed!
Dooommed!

DOOOOOOOMMMED!

CHAD VADER: This is bullshit!

[ telephone rings ]

CLARISSA: Hello?

CHAD VADER: Clarissa.

CLARISSA: Oh, hi Chad.

CHAD VADER: You did not arrive
for our second date last night.

I waited for an hour.

CLARISSA: Yeah, I'm sorry Chad.

Something came up.

CHAD VADER: I see.

Would you like to meet me
after work?

My shift ends at 6AM.

CLARISSA: Yeah, no,
that's not gonna work, Chad.

CHAD VADER: But, I was certain
we... had something.

I searched my feelings,
all of them.

CLARISSA: I'm sorry, Chad,
I have to go.

I'll see you later.

CHAD VADER: Wait, don't go--
Clarissa!

Hello?
[ groans ]

CLINT: Ooh. Looks like somebody
got [ makes gun sounds ] shot down.

Heh heh.

CHAD VADER: Clint--
go away.

CLINT: I bet you'd like your old job back,
wouldn't you, you big turd?

CHAD VADER: I shall not be
the night manager for much longer.

CLINT: If you think you're going
to be the day shift manager

think again, Charlie Brown.

It's not gonna happen.

You hear me in there, honey?

CHAD VADER and CLINT: You choked me!

You started it!

CLINT: You're gonna pay for this,
you A-hole.

Nobody touches Clint Shermer's neck
and lives.

Oh, and guess who's taking out
your little sweetie-pie tomorrow night?

CHAD VADER: What?

CLINT: Heh, heh, heh!

CHAD VADER: Grrrrr!

[ music ]

 aa

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