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Blame Society Productions
Transcript Chad Vader Episode 01
CHAD VADER: What is
the meaning of this?

TONY: The meaning of what?

CHAD VADER: I ordered this task
to be completed an hour ago.

TONY: Yeah, you did.

CHAD VADER: You have failed me
for the last time!

TONY: That's what you said
the last time.

CHAD VADER: I have been too forgiving
in the past.

Do not fail me again.

TONY: Because that'll be
the last time?

CHAD VADER: Yes, no, I--
I don't know.

Continue stocking!

[ music ]

CHAD VADER: May I speak with you
a moment, my master?

RANDY: It's just Randy
okay, Chad?

CHAD VADER: Yes, my master.

RANDY: And don't kneel--
it's weird.

CHAD VADER: I have grave news.

Tammy, I need you to work
an extra shift on Saturday.

TAMMY: No.

CHAD VADER: Then she walked away.

RANDY: Okay. So?

CHAD VADER: Our plans to make this station
fully operational on Saturday may be jeopardized!

RANDY: Look, just get someone
to take her shift, okay Chad?

CHAD VADER: As you wish.

RANDY: Oh, Chad, I heard
you are having problems with Clint?

CHAD VADER: Clint is a fool

and I will not tolerate
his insolence much longer!

RANDY: Well, you're gonna have to
resolve it.

I can't have my day manager
and my night manager

at each other's throats
all the time.

CHAD VADER: Yes, emperor.

RANDY: It's Randy--
Randy!

I'm not an emperor.

[ music ]

CHAD VADER: Clarissa, I noticed
your shift ends at six o'clock tonight.

CLARISSA: Yeah, Lord Vader.

CHAD VADER: Please, call me Chad.

CLARISSA: Yes, Chad.

CHAD VADER: I would like you to meet me
at Gino's Pizzeria facility to...

discuss some plans I have for
a more powerful laser checkout system

and for dinner.

CLARISSA: What?

CHAD VADER: I... here,
these are for you.

CLARISSA: Oh! Um, thank you Lord--
I mean Chad.

CHAD VADER: I will return to this workstation
at 6pm to pick you up.

I have a date--
Chad has a date.

LLOYD: Hey, Chad!

I just heard you and Clarissa
are going out on a date!

CHAD VADER: It is not a date.

It is purely to discuss
the laser checkout system.

LLOYD: Yeah, I bet you want to
check out her "laser system," hey Chad?

LLOYD: [ gasping ]

Okay, okay.

Jesus, what's your problem?!

CHAD VADER: Apology accepted.

LLOYD: Dick.

CLINT: Picking on the staff again,
huh Chad?

CHAD VADER: Clint!
We meet again at last.

The circle is complete.

CLINT: You don't get along
with your employees too well, do ya?

CHAD VADER: No.

CLINT: Maybe you should try
being less of a butthole.

CHAD VADER: Ah, ah,
how dare you?

CLINT: I hear you can't even keep
this joint staffed on Saturday night.

If you can't handle doing the schedule,
sweetie pie,

maybe Randy should give it to somebody
who knows what the crap they're doing.

CHAD VADER: I will not tolerate--

CLINT: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you just keep "not tolerating" Chad.

Keep on screwing the pooch and I'm gonna pull
that sweet little day manager position

right out from under
your big sweaty ass!

[ music ]

CHAD VADER" Now you will feel
the full power of the...

wha, whooah!

Oh, oh,
my back.

Could you help me up?

CLINT: [ laughs ]

CHAD VADER: [ groans ]

[ music ]

 aa

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